Dear Bride….I have a message of hope and a great way to use this time wisely.
May I begin by expressing my deep empathy to those of you who chose to selflessly postpone your nuptials for the well-being of others. What a difficult and disappointing decision to make. May your day be richly blessed when it comes back to you, and may your guests bring extra enthusiasm to your wedding celebration.
There is so much social noise covering the topic of COVID-19 I hesitated to reach out to you fearing adding to it. Then last night my son, (who recently relocated back to Nashville from NYC and finds himself residing at home for a brief stint) began to line-item all the road blocks currently in front of his best-laid plans. He spoke of the delays, discouragement and frustration he finds himself in.
While I empathize with him too, I found myself inclined to offer encouragement, hope, even suggestions of opportunities to put in place now while we all responsibly wait this season out. So after finding my voice once again, I’m offering the same to you; hope and optimism, opportunities and encouragement in the face of isolation, worry, fear, and boredom.
Full disclosure, I don’t like waste of any kind— ideas, money, effort, least of all time. And time seems to be the one commodity we all have a little bit more of. Remember the days when you were frazzled and overwhelmed with planning your big day? So much to do, so many options, and critical decisions. What if you took this time and applied the same level of enthusiasm and planning to your soon-to-be marriage?
What if you sculpted a Marriage Vision Board for the life you hope to create together?
I know you have an idea of what your life together looks like. It’s the reason you chose one another. Years ago, when I was still dating my husband, I witnessed a young couple approaching an escalator during the busy Christmas shopping season. They each were holding a child as they stepped on the down escalator. Obviously a few years into the marriage and family, I noticed they worked well together as they had toting kids down to a science. But what struck me was the playful look they still exchanged. I remember thinking, “I want to be able to look at him that way when we’ve been married for awhile.” It stuck with me as my modus operandi. Looking back now I think it spoke volumes that I wanted to stay in love with my partner, so I continually chose paths to keep us there.
My point, we all have a vision of what our future life together will look like.
What dreams do you have? Are you aware of his? Do you know where compromise will be necessary so both needs are met?
Hope comes when we are grateful for what we have. Use this time wisely. Let nothing be wasted, allowing this difficult season to become something positive. This is a test of our character. How resilient are you? How will you make the most of this precious time?
Creating Your Marriage Vision Board
Spend some time designing your future together. I’ve added a couple of talking points to get you started. It’s not meant to be comprehensive… how could it be, every couple is unique. Grab his hand, some supplies and start dreaming together.
- Travel and adventure or start a family?
- Where will you live? City flat or country cabin? Now, who picks the paint color?
- Puppies, kittens, or babies? Which first?
- Kids over career? How many kids? How many careers?
- Who owns the kitchen and who’s the sous chef?
- Brunch and Bellinis or books by the fire?
You get the picture.
Your day to celebrate is coming. Take this time to envision your future marriage together.
Hugs out! Laura
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